At the moment, National Identity seems to be uppermost in my thoughts. I suppose I know what brought it on, in part it was my trip to the States where I was trying on the hat of the ex-pat for size (who are the Welsh to the rest of the world? What would I miss? Does distance make the heart grow fonder?)and I suppose, little things like going to war almost invariably bring up questions of Nationality and Identity (are they really doing this in my name?).

And yes, I suppose my last post in which I sang happy birthday to Julie in *Welsh* was I suppose my own way of readdressing the language issue for me. I don't speak Welsh. I had to study it in school but it was taught in such a dull and dry way I never really took to it. My parents came from the Valleys, which was a predominantly English speaking area (at times in the 19th century it was second only to America as a place to move too for the English), on my father's side, they are all English, on my Mother's side, Welsh, and Welsh speaking Welsh at that although my mother did not grow up bilingual. Welsh was strongly discouraged in schools when she was growing up.

Speaking Welsh does not mean the same thing throughout Wales either, to use a sweeping generalisation (that totally ignores West Wales) in the south, to speak Welsh is something of a sign of a middle class education wheras in the North it is more commonplace. I suppose rather than the language being a uniting factor in Wales, it is more of a signifier of division. Again, sweeping generalizations here, but,  without having a common language on which to hang a national identity, is it any wonder that Wales, and the Welsh find it an uphill struggle to find an identity.

But I get the impression things are moving quicker now. Last your by only the teeniest minority, Wales decided that it was going to have it's own assembly, which is in theory I suppose a step towards democracy, though if that translates into practice, I will be a more than a little surprised.

When I called into the cafe down the road for breakfast today I had a look at one of the tabloids (the Mirror) and it had this article about how there was some governmental debate going on as whether it would be better to give more classroom time to creativity or to citizenship. I surprised myself with the strength of my kneejerk reaction there. Rather than thinking that they should be plugging creativity, I thought that developing a sense of citizenship was more of a priority. Then I got really pissed off with it because it was clearly not the either or debate that the paper was casting it as.

You see, the idea of being a citizen strikes me as being kind of novel because the way our constitution (what constitution?) stands, I am a subject  (of the crown) rather than a citizen. Furthermore, I am a subject in a Principality. And although my passport says *European Union* above *United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland*, you turn the page and it starts....

'Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State Requests and requires in the Name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hinderance and afford the bearer such assistance and protection as maybe necessary.'

What does it say in the cover of your passports?

Of course I am all too aware that the combination of words 'national' and 'identity' are pretty loaded... but I seem to keep going back to that notion... maybe it's because  as a woman and as a lesbian I am accustomed to a degree of invisibility I notice it carrying over to little triffles like the 'flag of union' that represents the 'Greater Britain' which includes symbols of England, Scotland and Ireland. Wales is notable only by it's absence.

I feel this acute awareness that in a post modern world,  margins become less marginal. Look at Europe just on a basic East to West glance we see a fragile peace in Northern Ireland and something rather more fragile again in Yugoslavia. This is what frames the new Europe...

Why am I writing this?

We are less than weeks away from a common European currency, which our government has decided to 'opt out of' for the time being. I am a part of Europe, but I am struggling to come to terms with what that will actually mean, if anything for me. I mean if I don't *feel* particularly Welsh, and cirtainly not 'British' how the hell am I supposed to feel European whatever the hell that is?

I suppose I am writing this because in this context I have the rare opportunity to *speak* in an international space. At the moment I feel like a burning mass of questions, so please, indulge me...

Do any of you have any thoughts that you would be willing to share with me about your own national identity and how well it fits you?